Magic.

Sometimes I think love is like magic. It comes and goes, nobody can make it or handle it, and things can go wrong and the whole thing is messed up. They're both the same because there is a lot of people out there that don't believe in love or magic. I don't really believe in magic. Sometimes I dont even believe in love. Nothing has proved to me that either one is real. But I'm still holding out on love.

If my sister can have puppy love and since there is a such thing called "soulmate" I guess I have no choice but to kind of believe in a little. Surpringly I've finally wrote three songs now. All three are about love. One could be a duet and I wasn't even going for it being for two people I was writing and reading it and thought "this could be good for two people to sing." That song is called, "Love Letter" and the other two are just random love songs that I wrote because I was actually in the mood to write them.

So there's this guy, I've known him since what feels like forever for me it's been probably around 12 or 13 years we've known each other. At home and when I'm with friends I want to forget about him because I know he only likes me as a friend, but everytime I go around him or I hear his name its like everything that I like about him just comes full circle. It shouldn't but it happens. I saw him over the weekend after I had flirted with a couple of basketball players (from the other side) and had some fun. I saw him and I just went from being Madison (my alter ego) to Meghan (this sweet and loveable side).

I can't chose. I like him, but I can't wait forever to finally to get his attention. But its driving me nuts that I want to even be with him. He's the second guy to gain my trust and actually not lose it yet. Its hard gaining my trust, but I don't know. My emotions are gone hay-wired because of him.