BEST QUOTE EVER!

When I listen to Linkin Park I feel like "I'M SOMEWHERE I BELONG". Their music is soo bad ass that at times I "BLACKOUT" I haven't "GIVEN UP" on them and never will. While other bands will be "FORGOTTEN", this band will never "HIT THE FLOOR". While many people do not like LP right now, eventually those people will be "CRAWLING" back to real music and feel "NO MORE SORROW". Those that still support LP are "NOT ALONE" and must know that other fans are "WITH YOU". Rock on LP!!!

I Hate Boys!

So if your friends with me on facebook, you're probably wondering what my status is about. Well, lets just say I don't miss high school all that much anymore. Everybody thinks girls are drama queens just wait and see because apparently they're guys that act like that too. And he just got his dumb ass deleted off my facebook page. Even though I should have deleted his ass long time ago but I didn't because I didn't want to believe that you'd treat me like shit too. So you are GONE!

Why is it that people think that just because somebody like me (that is out of high school) needs to keep my mouth shut? Apparently this stupid dirtbag does! Actually he said it to my cousin but she sent it to me because I was curious. Nobody messes with me or anybody close to me. Do not even go there with me! You will the first person I'd yell at. I have no problem with making you look like a fool. Trust me.

Nobody tells me what to do unless you are matured or an authority. Just because we are an underclassmen from high school doesn't give you the right to tell us we need to keep our mouths shut! If you really want us to keep quiet about something you talk to us as an adult. But since you can't act like one your not gonna be taken seriously. You need to grow the fock up and get some manners. Don't come around me with that attitude I'll make ass beg for mercy!

White Christmas.

Good evening! Merry Christmas everybody! Hope you all had a good Christmas and enjoyed the snow if you got any. We sure did. It was a nice change for once because we never get a white Christmas. It was suppose to start yesterday at noon but it ended coming around 5 or 6pm that evening. Let's just say I was happy! I didn't expect that after all the snow we got last week. God does work in mysterious ways.

Everybody knows that A Christmas Story plays on TBS on Christmas Eve and Christmas day, and I actually never got a chance to watch it all. I was sad, but I'm all better now. The Wizard of Oz is on now! Except my mom isn't here to enjoy it with me, instead she's working right now. :P So I'm watching it for her. It skipped during, "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" I was singing to it and it skipped. Ruined a perfectly good song! Way to go TBS!

What did you get for Christmas? I got a bunch of girly stuff but I'm not complaining and it came in a purple case. Heck yeah! I got a Cheetah fuzzy pants, a hoodie, and two plaid shirts. The light purple one is sooo soft and very cozy to lay in I might add. I got Life Savers candy canes and gum. A $50 girl card, my nana gave a apple and orange (which sounds good right now!) the Burlesque CD, Backstreet Boys CD "This Is Us," and Christina Aguilera's CD "Bionic." So I'm really happy at the moment.

Merry Christmas Eve!

Merry Christmas Eve everybody! Since my cousin came over last night we didn't decide to turn off our laptops til possibly 3am and then we finally turned off the light. Unfortuately I didn't go to sleep til 5pm. Kristi passed out earlier than I did... Well if you really want to get technical about it Emily went to bed earlier than any of us!

She burned me a CD for me and she has the SAW theme song on her laptop and it didnt go on the CD. WTF? Instead of that song, I ended gaining a song I already had. Get Silly. That song is sooo old. We heard about 3 Backstreet Boys songs last night and jammed and sang with them. Gosh, what little girls we are! Speaking of the devil, we're listening to them at the moment too! She probably hasn't noticed that this is one of their newer stuff.

Tomorrow morning, somebody will be waking my butt at the butt crack of dawn to open presents. My family is crazy! We try to beat each other at my nana's house. Its interesting because we do this every year and it never gets old. The bragging rights only last a few weeks but its fun to do. We're a funny bunch so it never gets old.

Thursday.

Today is Thursday, which is usually when The Vampire Diaries new episode comes on but since they're taking a break (a long one I may add) my Thursdays have gone downhill. I don't want to watch "Kill Or Be Killed" that one scared me. Not as much as "By The Light Of The Moon" but it still scared me.

My cousin Kristi is coming over and spending the night. My room is actually clean which is unreal because its never clean. Thank god, we're family because its clean to certain areas. I'm ready to talk, laugh, watch TVD (maybe), listen to music, and take lots of pictures. It will be like New Year's 2008 all over again! We were at my nana's and thats all we did was take pictures! It was really, really fun.

Linkin Park OR Paramore?

Well what is there to say about these two bands? Lots of things really, I like them both alot.. Linkin Park has 6 members and Paramore (technically) 5 members but a couple of days ago it was announced that Zac and Josh Farro quit the band. I was beginning to form a little bit of a crush on Josh and now he's gone. I already have a girl crush on Hayley Williams. Who wouldn't really? The woman is hot! That red hair makes her! I hated the "Brick By Boring Brick" video because she had blonde hair. Thank god, she didn't keep it.

Linkin Park is an awesome band! I have a crush on 4 out of 6 members. I don't know if that's sad or what, but on the other hand not being on my "crush" list might mean I like you better than the rest. Joe and Brad are my favorites! You can now guess who I have the crushes on. It took me awhile to say I have a crush on Phoenix and Chester. Chester use to freak me out now he turns me out. Phoenix is a red head, thanks to my nana I'm starting to like red heads. Thanks nana! The first two I liked were Mike and Rob. OMG! They are soooooo cute!

I have two Linkin Park shirts and one Paramore shirt. I have 6 of the Linkin Park CDs and none of Paramore. I don't know how many singles I have of Linkin Park. I have 3 singles of Paramore. I've tried getting red in my hair. Instead I ended up getting an Auburn color. Its short and right now spikey. I love both bands what can I say?

Royal Wedding.

I'm not ready for this Royal Wedding, Prince William and Kate Middleton. I'm probably going to leave somewhere else that way I don't have to hear all about it. Which that's going to be hard to do. I don't know why I'm not looking forward to this because I love Royal things. I love hearing news about the Queen. I would love to visit the Buckinghim Palace instead of the White House. Yeah, I'm that weird! Maybe it's because I might have myself a little bit of a crush on Prince William but who doesn't. Kate Middleton is very beautiful I cant wait to see what her wedding dress will look like.

I want my wedding dress to be two things. Poofy and sparkly, I want it to be like lacey feel to it and very poofy. It has to have straps or I will not wear it. I have never liked upstrapped dresses I'm always afraid that its not gonna stay up on my top half. I don't want a cream dress just a white one. Bright white too. I want my bridesmaids dresses will either be red or purple dresses. I love red and white together, but I would love purple dresses or at least something purple. I don't want anything big like the Royal Wedding would be, like broadcast on every channel the WHOLE day.

Magic.

Sometimes I think love is like magic. It comes and goes, nobody can make it or handle it, and things can go wrong and the whole thing is messed up. They're both the same because there is a lot of people out there that don't believe in love or magic. I don't really believe in magic. Sometimes I dont even believe in love. Nothing has proved to me that either one is real. But I'm still holding out on love.

If my sister can have puppy love and since there is a such thing called "soulmate" I guess I have no choice but to kind of believe in a little. Surpringly I've finally wrote three songs now. All three are about love. One could be a duet and I wasn't even going for it being for two people I was writing and reading it and thought "this could be good for two people to sing." That song is called, "Love Letter" and the other two are just random love songs that I wrote because I was actually in the mood to write them.

So there's this guy, I've known him since what feels like forever for me it's been probably around 12 or 13 years we've known each other. At home and when I'm with friends I want to forget about him because I know he only likes me as a friend, but everytime I go around him or I hear his name its like everything that I like about him just comes full circle. It shouldn't but it happens. I saw him over the weekend after I had flirted with a couple of basketball players (from the other side) and had some fun. I saw him and I just went from being Madison (my alter ego) to Meghan (this sweet and loveable side).

I can't chose. I like him, but I can't wait forever to finally to get his attention. But its driving me nuts that I want to even be with him. He's the second guy to gain my trust and actually not lose it yet. Its hard gaining my trust, but I don't know. My emotions are gone hay-wired because of him.

Christina Aguilera!

If you didn't know by now, its Christina Aguilera's 30th Birthday! I am a VERY big fan of hers! She is my favorite female solo artist! She is this decade's Madonna, because Madonna changed what everybody thought of her, she didn't care what everybody thought about her, and she constancely changed herself for herself. She's a mom and almost "single" from her husband. My favorite album is Back To Basics because I love the blues and hip hop together and I love how she dressed up in everything. She defintely has the lungs for that decade. I really wanted to see Burlesque when it came out in theaters but I never got to because of weather. Indiana and our weather sucks! But I still love her! I want a Christina Aguilera poster and the Burlesque soundtrack for Christmas, hopefully I get one of them!

Positive Thinking.

Dreams can be a tricky thing. Dreams can create a place where everything can go right. Nothing will seem out of place and nothing goes downhill. You keep certain things to show yourself you could really work. But not everything is what it seems. So I've been doing some positive thinking. And sometimes these dreams kind of help get through the negative thoughts that fly around my mind.

I'm always putting on my Twitter statuses things that suck about being handicapped. Well surprisingly I have postive thoughts on there too. A couple of days ago, I posted a post about how "I'm NOT a Groupie" and I'm not. So that big thought lend to this thought, I'm sort of in a good place being handicapped I don't have to worry about any of these musicians flirting with me or anything else I don't plan on doing with anybody... for awhile. I feel good about this. I know I'm weird but I'm just giving my negative thoughts a break.

Stereo Love.

I am in love with dance tracks. Any kind is good with me really. I am also a big rock an roll chick. I love me some hardcore guitar sounds and the screams. It can be a turn on I have to admit. I've actually turned into a fan of both of them last year. 2009 was a good year for me. This year was just dull to the core. Kesha came out last year and hasn't left us like some people said she would. 30 Seconds To Mars did pretty good this year during different award shows.

So everyone would just assume that I only like those two genres right? Wrong, I like more than these two. You're probably thinking "Oh, she likes country and pop too." That's true but that's still not enough for me. I like stuff that you would never on the radio. There's a new song called, "Stereo Love" by Edward Maya. I heard it on SXM BPM and to me it sounds like if you were in a French movie that's what a song from there would sound like. So I like different culture's sounds. I like Bollywood music. Slumdog Millionaire helped that out a little. But it was actually The Cheetah Girls Movie: One World that changed me. They're sounds sooo good with hip hop.

I love mixing two different genres together. Like on dance movies, Save The Last Dance and the Step Up Movies they took hip hop and classical together. Made it sound awesome! I love 1930-40s Vintage clothing and I also love old blues and jazz music. I am a little weird with my music but that's just how I am.

The Vampire Diaries.

I am a really big vampire diaries fan. Everybody should already know it by now too. Usually I don't like putting myself on a team. I'm a Team Damon and Team Katherine. Sometimes I can switch into a Team Caroline and Team Tyler fan too. Tyler is SEXY! I find myself switching back and forth between a vampire fan to a werewolf fan. I love Damon and I also really, really like Tyler too.

The couples are even a harder story to tell. I have to say I think I like Stefan and Elena together Every girl in the world likes a guy and everytime that guy likes a girl or is in a relationship with someone they get very defensive. Somehow, I only that way about my TV shows which is probably the best thing for me. I like Damon single, but then again at the end of the episode "Rose" makes me sad that Damon compelled Elena after he told her he loved her. I think I even cried the first time I watched that episode.

I have two more couples that I hope work out somewhere down the road. I like Caroline and Tyler together. Even though I know Caroline is too attached to Matt, but I think its the other way around. I think Matt gets way into his relationships. He had a hard time getting over Elena in the first season and he just LOVES Caroline. Both Caroline and Tyler on the "By The Light Of The Moon" episode made me cry. I cried that Caroline felt bad about Tyler going through the pain. Seeing Tyler go through the pain made me cry.

Another couple that should get together soon is Bonnie and Jeremy. You know Jeremy likes Bonnie just be his body language around her. He cares for her and you defintely got that by the last episode last week. I'm not gonna lie but I was literally screaming at my TV because Bonnie and Jeremy wouldn't kiss each other. Hell, Jeremy didn't even go and grab her. Ugh! It makes me mad. Bonnie thinks she likes Luca, I can't wait to what she does to him after she finds out that he's been playing her all this time.

Songs I Want,

1. Alice - Avril Lavigne
2. Ride To California - Paper Tongues
3. Hey Baby (Drop It To The Floor) - Pitbull/T-Pain
4. Pretty Girl Rock - Keri Hilson
5. Firework - Katy Perry
6. Peacock - Katy Perry
7. I Don't Have To Try - Avril Lavigne
8. Scars - Papa Roach
9. Through Glass - Stone Sour
10. Higher - Taio Cruz & Kylie Minogue
11. Somebody To Love - Justin Beiber
12. Bottoms Up - Try Songz ft. Nicki Minaj
13. We Are The World - Various Artists
14. Vogue - Madonna
15. Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
16. Beautiful Dangerous - Slash ft. Fergie
17. Dirty Bit - Black Eyed Peas
18. Express - Christina Aguilera
19. Cry - Rihanna
20. She's Country - Jason Aldean
21. Sober - Kelly Clarkson
22. How Does It Feel - Avril Lavigne
23. Tonight - Toby Mac ft. Skillet
24. Dirty Talk (Laidback Luke Remix) - Wynter Gordon
25. Hey Now - Xzbit ft. Keri Hilson
26. Gypsy - Shakira
27. What's My Name - Rihanna
28. Grenade - Bruno Mars
29. Marry Me - Train
30. Heartbeat - Enrique Igeslias ft. Nicole Scherzinger
31. Hang With Me (Acivii Mix) - Robyn
32. Jar Of Hearts - Christina Perri
33. Save Me From Myself - Christina Aguilera
34. Save Me - My Darkest Days
35. I Just Wanna Run - The Downtown Fiction
36. Hella Good - No Doubt
37. OMG - Usher
38. More - Usher
39. I'm Back - T.I.
40. Ya You Know - T.I.

I'm A Music Junkie! :)

I need alot of songs on my iPod. I'm running low of stuff to get excited about. I know that's sad since I have like 1,000+ songs on the sucker but I want more. I'm like a junkie pretty much. Addicts are addicted to drugs well I'm addicted to music. "Music is my drug, and YouTube is my dealer." Except not everything I want I've watched on YouTube. I use a music engine website called, www.playlist.com. Its an awesome website to use to look up songs from your favorite artists. I'm actuallyusing it right now. Since I like pretty much everything I've divided everything in four playlists. Disabled_Meghan's playlist has ALL rock songs. Pop/Dance playlist is all what it says; party tracks mostly. Country playlist, yes I have a Country playlist. When I'm in the mood I will listen to country music. And then you have the Random playlist. It has songs from Backstreet Boys to Xzbit.

EMO(tions)

Sometimes I label myself. I've always labelled myself. I really don't mind it because I know its true. I am handicapped and proud. So I've head people call me "Wheelchair girl" before. I actually adopted that nickname then it got changed to "Speed Demon." I defintely know that's me all the way. No other nickname has ever decribed me before until this last one.

I have labelled myself as "emo" before. I think emoes get a bad rap because everybody thinks they are always in black and don't have very many friends. The reason why I called myself an Emo was because I can get depressed pretty fast and can't (usually) get myself out of it. The thing is that I know I'm loved, I have friends, and I don't wear black ALL the time. I'm like a Scene kid. I wear all different colors and go a little crazy during these depression spells. Sometimes I am a bitch and the other I am a very nice person. You can't tell what's wrong with me unless you see me in my room coped up in a little ball, crying myself to sleep just to get the day over with. That is what happens when I'm depressed, it maybe different for you.

Somebody I know gets depressed not a lot, but she gets depressed for two days and she "acts" like she's okay. Well since she's still young she doesn't know that not talking about your problems will make just as worse as listening to your iPod 24 hours a day. Not saying that doesn't work, but its not healthy. Listening to even sadder songs defintely don't work. When people are depressed they need to listen to upbeat songs. Nothing sad, I wish saying this would make me realize not to do that for the next time I'm depressed.

I'm NOT A Groupie!

If you have a Twitter and about half of the people that you are following, are you considered a groupie? I hope not, because I hate that word. I hate the actual meaning of it. You can call me a die hard fan but that is all. I turn into a real bitch when people call me a groupie. I am a fan following my favorite celebs. Including, favorite singers and bands. Actors don't compared they just have stalkers. Big difference, but I'm not that either.

If you go to a concert and if you see girls with a halter top and skinny ass jeans she is a groupie in need of some respectfully clothing to these married men. If they have a ring on their finger I hope they're wives kick your ass. Then again the guys should get into trouble as well, they let it happen in the first place. Dumbasses! Ever heard of "Women know all?" I'd learn it before you get married.

There is one good thing about being handicapped. I am very respectful for the wives/girlfriends of these muisicans. I think that's why I like "Married To Rock" so well. They have to put up with these guys every single day. Also, since I'm always sitting in my chair and I'm not that pretty to look (expression) I don't have a chance in hell with ANY of these guys. Somehow that is a good thing. I can't trust guys to begin with, musicians are the same. Wow, I'm mostly talking about Rockstars when Rappers have a even bigger bad boy reputation.

Naughtry Or Nice.

Are you a good girl or a bad girl? I think I am a mix of both. When the sun comes up I become a good girl with a bowl of sugar, spice and everything nice for breakfast. I only watch "good" shows and listen to dance music and ballad songs. Get all my tears out early in the morning and be set to be for the rest of the day. I'm always a good girl, but I have my moments. Every girl has a crazy side and they really shouldn't try and hide it. It's going to come out someday.

Around 5 the sun starts to go down and the dark clouds starts to fill the sky and little stars form. When the clock tells 8 everything starts to change. Its like transformation when night comes a person can change their mood, style, attitude, and even sexualitly. If your 21 and up everything gets better with alcohol. Drugs are illegal, but good luck telling that to the true badasses. My transformation comes to me around 9 and ends when I've had enough and I fall asleep in the early morning.

Since I'm still young so I can't have the alcohol. You can have a bad girl time without the illegal stuff. Music is like my drug and playlists and Youtube are my dealers. The songs that usually make me change are strong hip-hop party tracks and hard rock songs. Two examples from each: Get Crazy by LMFAO and Whatever You Like by Nicole Scherzinger ft. T.I. for the hip hop tracks and Supermassive Black Hole by Muse and Beautiful Dangerous by Slash ft. Fergie. Supermassive Black Hole could turn a whole group of girls into bad girl with just the intro.

Judgemental.

People can be judgemental. I know this, I can be very judgemental to alot of people. I can't give them a chance because everybody may make fun of you, but sometimes you should look at a person in a different light. When the 2008 politicial began everybody started hearing about Sarah Palin then we heard of her daughter's pregnancy. I don't know why everybody hates the both of them. Sunday afternoon I watched half of the episode on Sarah's Alaska with her nephew Matthew. I bet nobody knew her youngest son Trig has Down Syndrome. I sure as heck didn't know. I've been very judgemental towards her and her family because everybody doesn't like her. There's only some much hate you can take. So I'm just saying I changed my mind. She has a son with Downs Syndrome and a daughter with a baby. So could be Wonder Woman. We can wonder all we want to, but she shouldn't hate her. Everybody is different. Nobody can perfect. Politics suck anyways.

Let It Snow!

I'm still up and been pretty much attached to my headphones since noon. I like my music loud, and when you have a parent sleeping or your dad watching a football game in the living room your headphones become your best friend. I literally went from listening to T.I. first then Cheetah Girls and last but defintely not least Linkin Park. Somebody was a genius and posted the videos from the World Stage Performance when they were in Madriod for the EMAs and I went through possibly seven videos.

They're song "Iridecent" has got to be the saddest song they've ever written. My point of view it is. I love the part when they're ALL singing. They all sound so good. It usually makes me cry but I am not crying at all today so surprisely I didn't cry but the video was ticking me off because it wouldn't load. It would load a little I would play it and it would stop again. So lets just say my patientence got the best of me.

It is snowing outside! I don't know how much but from what everybody has been saying on my facebook its defintely snowing. Emily might have a delay or heck no school at all. It is Pike County after all. Our town never goes to school in the wintertime. Ahh, one of the joys of not going to school anymore. I don't have to go out in the cold and wear two of almost everything. This cold weather doesn't help my bones in my legs at all. I swear my hips have pop about a 100 times since I woke up this morning. It sucks! My lower back hurts which isn't unusal really so its okay.

Dancy.

Its Sunday morning and I feel like dancing already. I actually thought I was going to be depressed today since it was suppose to the last day of my first semester of college. But I'm not sad at all. I still think this afternoon is when it'll hit me. Maybe I'll find something to watch on the TV or listen to dancy songs all day that feel better about my decision.

Another plus with this. Last night I got some sleep. I had my headphones on til midnight and I took them off and rolled over and just rested my eyes. Getting out of the house after spending five days in the house and not beinging able to tell myself to relax my brain. So I got to sleep til 6:14 this morning. Yay! One downside was Rugrats wasn't on. So that sucked but its all good. :)

Jar Of Hearts.

Its Saturday evening and I'm at my nana and papaw's house. I've been here since 3:00 this afternoon and its been a very interesting visit. Me and my nana has one of our big talks again. We didn't talk about anything bad which we never do. I watched half of the IU and Kentucky game and was thinking about a high school teacher I had that was obsessed with UK and had his classroom covered with different pictures. I kind of miss high school because I miss his Creative Writing class and Novels class.

My nana is watching one of her favorite bands right now. Queen. She likes Queen, my band Linkin Park, REO speedwagon, Adam Lambert, and Bon Jovi. She loves YouTube. I think she likes YouTube the most then Facebook and Twitter. She's getting use to Twitter, well some of it at least.

Now my mom is here and I'm listening to Jar Of Hearts by Christina Perri. Well now its Candyman by Christina Aguilera. The two Christina's. We're suppose to get a lot of snow tonight and tomorrow. Yay! At least this time I don't have anything planned this weekend. Alright, gotta go. I'll blog later tonight. :)

Hey Baby (Drop It To The Floor)

Pitbull has done it again and its with T-Pain. Its an awesome party song to listen to. I'm in a party mood since its early Saturday morning. Hehehe..

Avril Lavigne.

Does she look familiar to you? If your an Avril Lavigne fan raise your hand! Or foot in my case. She is truely the shit. Excuse my language but she is. I've loved her since 2002. It all started when I was at Shriner's for my back surgeries. Well me and roommate Shelby use to sing her songs on our way to trips. Everybody loved when we use to sing on the bus. After I got home from all three surgeries I finally got Avril's first CD "Let Go" and was in LOVE with it! I can't find it now though. I'm actually wanting all 3 albums for Christmas. I need a Avril Lavigne buzz. I can't wait til next year. Her new album comes out in March! If only my birthday was in that month. But anyways, don't knock Avril Lavigne or she'll kick your ass. And so will her fans. Haha :)

Disney Channel Curse.

Its official! The Disney Channel has put a curse on every big star actress that has ever worked there. Did you hear the news? Miley Cyrus smoked into a bong, but apparently the stuff she smoked is actually legal in California. Who knows what else she smoked when the video wasn't on. Billy Ray Cyrus is gonna have his hands full. Technically she's old enough to deal with things on her own now. Daddy can't help her here. Especially if she's living with her mom.

Remember Lindsay Lohan? Yeah, she played the twins on The Parent Trap and switched places with her co-star mom Jamie Lee Curtis on Freaky Friday, (both I must say we're Disney movies) and look at her life today. She's been in rehab too many times to be counted on one hand. Her mom Dina Lohan just admitted a couple of months ago that Lindsay actually is an addict. Yeah, thanks for clearing that up for us Dina. Since we already know from how many times she's been in jail, rehab (went and left), and DUIs. All three from both alcohol and drugs.

Demi Lovato has checked herself into a rehab center. Which one person on my Twitter says "Treatment Center" Its called rehab sweetie. Sorry, but it is. Anyway, rumors have spread that she cuts herself (which would explain why she never wears anything without sleeves or a jacket) and she hit a back up dancer while on tour. Ouch! She did a campaign ad for anti-bullying and look what she did if that's really true. Another rumor came up that Demi has never really gotten over her relationship with Joe Jonas yet since he quickly started dating Twilight star Ashley Greene after him and Demi broke up. This started a war between both stars two days after Demi checked herself into rehab. I like Demi, I really do but nobody can be strong for too long and I think she just proved that to us.

Other girl stars that have worked at Disney at one time that have had their names in the bad press. Britney Spears and Vanessa Hudgens. But Vanessa has only done nude pictures. When you turn 18 you are an adult. You can take your clothes off for anyone you want to. Thank god you really don't hear much about that anymore. Poor Britney though. Recently she's had her name in the bad press about her boyfriend hitting her. She quickly shattered rumors on the day of her birthday.

So what does all this mean? Well it could only mean one thing. Disney Channel has put a curse on every big time female star. Beware other Disney Channel stars. Don't say I didn't warn you. :)

My Intervention.

I think I'm going to do my own intervention on myself tonight. I'm staying up late at night and going to bed around (4 or 8 am) and I get up around 2 pm in the afternoon. It's getting so old. I'm tired at night but I can't get my mind to let me go to bed at all. It sucks! Wednesday night I had kind of an excuse. Our dog ChiChi decided to sleep with me. I'm somewhat of a roller at night and I can't control my legs at night so I'm afraid I'm going to hit her at night. I only got two hours of sleep that night.

Last night was even a better trip for me. It was around possibly four in the morning and I heard a noice from behind me. And I'm already paranoid at night especially if I sleep with my back towards the closet. Anyhoo, Oliver decided that he wanted to come out and almost fell off everything he went on. He's so old, poor Oliver. Then he jumped on my bed and sat on my head board for a bit and then he came and laid down by my feet. Five minutes later he ran out. Next minute I knew he was back and actually ready to sleep. He slept on the good part of my pillow. Lucky cat. He stayed there til my mom got home from work. Luckily after she took me to the bathroom he went and went to bed with her. So I got my bed back and I actually got some sleep.

So it's going to be another sleep-less night for me. So its going to be intervention time for me. My intervention is staying up all night long and not going to bed until around 8 or 9 that night. Yes, I have done this before. I don't really recommand doing it. Because I tend to turn into a bit of bitch if I don't get all my sleep. But I don't care I want my sleep schedule back but it'll probably be back on Sunday since that day is going to suck anyways. So yeah probably even more late night blogging for me again tonight.

Late Night Blogging.

This is like my fifth or sixith time being up late and waking up really late in the afternoon, but really whose counting besides my family? Lol. I'm such an all nighter kind of girl. My dad's fault really. When I was a baby he would wake me up in the middle of the night and we'd watch cartoons, but that was also when nickelodeon had the good cartoons on. He gets mad at me now that I'm doing it again. It's his fault.

Our dog ChiChi decided last night that she was gonna sleep with me. Earlier that day she rode on my lap when my mom went to get my sis from cheer practice. We went from my parent's room (where the computer is) and went to the living room. Hoping it would scare her off my lap. Then I got done with the sucker I had in my mouth and so we went back in the bedroom. I spit out the rest of the sucker in the trash can and made it safely back. It was a LONG trip! Anyhoo, apparently she loves my blanket alot.

She slept all night in my room. I almost fell off my bed twice. I always think I'm going to hurt her. I'm a worry bug. Then that morning my mom came home from and took me to the bathroom and after that ChiChi left with her. Then 15 minutes later she came back and slept in here for an hour before leaving again. This time she didn't come back. Now she's sleeping with dad. Oh and we're also Rabbit sitting our friend's rabbit. He's name is Bentley. He's so cute. I want one now.

Goodnight everybody! Sweet Dreams!

Random Thought.

I have a lot of things in my head at the moment. I want it to snow really bad.. But my momma has to work on Sunday so never mind. Shes at work tonight, tomorrow night, and Friday night. Tonight is a Law & Order: SVU night. I don't know if its a new one but I hope it is. Tomorrow is Vampire Diaries or what I like to call it a Vampire Day. I'm watching 3rd Rock FRom the Sun and Joseph Gordon-Levitt and he is cuter now than he was.

Ian Somerhalder.

Ian Somerhalder is S-E-X-Y! He is my favorite Vampire ever! He's such a beast....literally. He plays Damon Salvatore and OMG would I love to be in Rose's place when they had sex. Not even kidding. I love guys that are dark haired and blue eyed. It makes them so mysterious. He could so kick Robert Pattinson ass in the Twilight movies. Actually both Ian and Paul Wesley can kick his ass. Paul is the "sweet" one on Vampire Diaries. He plays Stefan Salvatore and he's hot but Ian is gorgeous! Sorry. I have a poster on the back of my door and they both look so yummy. I think I would scream first and then die if I got to meet them. Heck the whole cast could kill me as much as I've watched it. You know when you really like a show when you start yelling at the TV when one of the characters does something very stupid. I'm going to cry this Thursday because Stefan and Katherine are going to have sex. And Tyler is going to turn into a werewolf. Aw, Tyler is cute too! I need a poster of him too! :)

Its Midnight!

Its a late night visit to my blog tonight. Tonight I'm on Twitter because around midnight facebook kind of dies down. So the only thing I have left is Twitter and my blog. I don't have anything to talk about because it is so late and my brain is gone. I am watching Jimmy Kimmel and they're making fun of Mel Gibson's new movie. Thats so funny! Ian Somerhalder is going to be on the show and I am so excited! He is SO sexy! Yummy! I love Vampire Diaries a lot. Paul Wesley is pretty cute too! But I LOVE me some bad boys. :)

High School Memories. :)

I've been out of school since May, so the last time I had "good" chocolate milk was like the last full week for the Seniors. I really wish I didn't miss high school, but I do. I don't miss it all. I miss some of it, like some of teachers and my friends. I miss having something to do, and not getting bored like I am now. I don't miss the "serioius" assignments. Especially in Government. Gosh, I hated that class, I might've gotten a good grade in there, but it wasn't one of my favorite classes. I'm not saying why what was my favorite thing in that class, cause thats me.

I don't miss Film Literature. Thats another class that I didn't like and I couldn't get out of. I had to hsve my schedule changed twice. Damn, Sports Literture. Thank god, I got of that class though. I love how myself knows when I don't belong somewhere. Because that was defintely a class where I knew I didn't belong in. Too many altheltes in there. This is how sad I got about it, I couldn't even figure out how to write a summary about this article on a game or something. I think that's when I told myself "if you don't know the plays of basketball or football then you don't belong in there." I almost cried in there because I felt so dumb being in there where ALL of the other students had been sports before. I never have, and Powder Puff Football doesn't count. That's just what I think.

I loved seeing my sister and her friends at lunch. I sat with her ex-boyfriend Trevor and his friends most of the first semester at lunch. Sometimes I would sit with Em and her friends, I remember when I was freshman but I don't remember being a crazy kid like her at lunch. But my freshman year was a trip in general. I miss being in Choir with Darcie, Jessi, and Natalie. I miss our CRAZY conversations. I miss my Peer Tutoring class, that was an interesting class just going in it day by day. I defintely wouldn't change it at all though. I miss Art Class ALOT! I'm getting urges to draw again, and I can't draw at the moment because I'm afraid of failing. Another class I defintely miss is Creative Writing with Mr. Stuckey, he made that class so fun and crazy. I actually loved when we did the Japanesse Peoms they were my favorite.

Baby Names:

GiRLS:

Mirabelle Ruth
Kayleah Danielle
Taylor Janise
Bryna Mae

BOYS:

Bentley Morgan
Mason Lee
Zane Alexander
Maverick Roman

Who Knew

I've wanted it to snow since last week. Because everybody had snow just not us and what does it do? Snow on the freaking weekend where I had plans to do something with a friend. Saturday was the actual day that we had planned this. We planned to go to Evansville and go to the mall and after that go to the movies and see Burlesque. Well my friend kept giving me different times to pick from for the movies and snow started coming our way on the Radar. So my mom just decides that she wasn't going to let me go.

So instead she said today we were going to go to the movies in Jasper. Well we ended up going over to my nanas AGAIN and had Tacos for lunch. Ugh! I wasnt happy because I knew my friend wasn't going to text me saying she was free this afternoon. Everybody pissed me off one way or another. Whether they didn't mean to or not, I'm just not all the way here and I'm not the best person to get mad at anyone.

I'm stuck at home. Its snowing, football game is on, my dads drunk off his high horse, my moms doing lundry, Emily had her boyfriend over at my nanas, and I feel like I could kill someone. I am just anixous. I feel like I could seriously have a panic attack or something like that. Nothing goes right anymore. Music never seems to help anymore. I have so much anger in me. One of these days I'm going to yell at someone and they probably didn't piss me off. That's my luck at the moment.

I can't cry because my dad can't stand seeing me cry. I quit school because I couldn't handle the damn pressure. I can't trust men. I can't trust anyone pretty much, but I talk to everyone about my problems. My very own Nana is driving me nuts. Sometimes her opinions get on my nerves sorry but they do. I want to draw so bad, but everybody has to lift me back on my bed. I hate myself. I'm insecure of what I look like. I hate snow, sleet, rain. Anything that covers a hole. I'm not blaming anyone for my problems either, just me. I hate blaming everyone for everything when its my life. I can't even a smart choice. I have so much wrong with me that I can't think anymore. I'm just depressed right now. It sucks so much. :(

Back To December! :-)

Its December, which is the last month of the year 2010, Christmas- day of birth of Jesus, and New Years Day. Its one of those months where if you live in Southern Indiana, you kinda hope it snows on Christmas like it does everywhere else. The past three years there hasn't been any snow for Christmas. It never feels like Christmas without SOME snow on Christmas morning. Oh, just thought of another thing this month is thought of; its the end of first last semester of the seniors in high school. It gets better after this month is over.

This little picture is of Dill Pickles. He's the youngest baby of the show Rugrats. I love Rugrats! It will always be my favorite show ever! Hopefully my kids will be able to watch them and get excited about learning about different things.

My favorite character on the show was Tommy. Everybody use to think I kind of acted like Angelica when I was younger. When I turned 10, yes I can admit I was a brat and I acted out in some ways. But I wasn't as bad as her. Anyhoo, Dill just looked adorable in this picture. Its my facebook profile picture for Child Abuse. Chang your facebook default picture of your favorite cartoon from you childhood for Child Abuse. Keep it there til Monday (December 6th).

The Feeling Of Wanting To Settle Down.

I've had these feelings. It may be my hormones and it may be because I'm lonely and I'm looking for love. At this point it could be both of these if you want to get technical about it. I've wanted to have kids since I was 13 years old, but was smart in waiting well because I don't have a choice really.

I've been single for 4 years. Next Valentine's Day will be my 5th Valentine's Day alone. I hate that damn holiday. I've had two boyfriend both in middle school. None in high school. Never got to experiance the best years of my life. Was stuck at home most of the time.

So now that I'm out of school all together. I'm getting lonely and actually wanting to find a boyfriend. My sister has had more boyfriends than me. I've only had one guy kiss me and I was 7 years old. I don't know what "wanting to settle down" feels like but I think I can tell. I just feeling like love isn't in the air for me.

NASA Finds...

Well did you hear the new lately? If you haven't sorry to burst your bubble but there are little green men on the other planets. Anybody seen the commerical for the TV show "V" anybody wanna ask that happens to us. Heck, maybe we'll get lucky and our life will turn into a "Transformers" movie. I'd go for that. Especially my wheelchair.

If Aliens were like robots I think people would be fine, but little green men? I don't know about that. I'd be scared of my life. I hated the Scooby-Doo movie about Aliens. It was even in cartoon form and it still scared the hell out of me. Everybody said they weren't real. Now what are we suppose to think?

Since our Government thinks its okay to keep things away from the general public for a few decades. Tells the people WHO have found things like ships or little green men that they're seeing things. When people tape things moving in the sky and say its an Air Force or Milltary air craft now they know the truth now. Can you sue the Government? Just wondering.

Thanks for scaring all the little kids that are probably mad at their parents for lying to them about it. There goes some sleepless nights for you. Thanks to our government they threaten everybody that found any of the Aliens ships or themselves that it wasn't an Alien thing. I bet that little town in what Texas or New Mexico feels a little bit better now.