I love me some JT! :)

I miss TVD already!

What If...

I know nobody wants to hear about it or talk about it. Some people don't want to believe it. I don't blame them. I use to not believe the rumors either. Why bother listen to what people are saying when there's two different times of when it will happen. People are saying that the world will end on Sunday. One person said she heard somebody say it was Saturday. What the hell happened to 2012? The whole world is suppose to end in 2012? Who knows if it will end this weekend or not. If you choose not to believe it, thats your descision. I know for me, I can't help but wanna know what day exactly. Ever since I heard this weekend my mind has been in a daze. There's so many things going around in my head. I actually started making a mini bucket list in my head. Thing is, there isn't a way to do all of the things I want to do in a matter of one day.

I started thinking "what if we really do end on Saturday or Sunday?" Would I get into Heaven? Will I go to Hell because of my sins? Yet in the back of my head goes, "Meghan shut up!" I can't help it. I have thoughts and I have to get them out somehow. Blogging is a good way. I start to think of things I want before I die. The first two things that popped into my head were kids and Linkin Park. I really want kids before I die. Show them that handicapped people are like everybody else too. I want to go to a Linkin Park concert REALLY bad! I don't think watching Linkin Park's World Stage this morning was a good idea. Especially seeing the "Waiting For The End" part twice in one day. Bad idea.

My third thought was "I'm not gonna be able to meet all my Twitter friends if we die this weekend." That left me speechless for awhile. I still don't know how to answer that because I have so many of them. So many places I'd like to visit and learn more about. After thinking some more, I thought I would never get the chance to dance for real. It's a goal I'd love to reach but with my feet and legs all I have are doubts. So far I only have 4 things on this mini bucket list. I don't want to do anything extreme like jump out of an airplane. I am scared of heights and I can't and probably won't be able to face my fear. Your lucky you can even get me on an airplaine.

I'm listening to one of the songs from Transformers 2. I'm thinking of how the Decipiticons and Autobots were feuding. Then I started thinking about Battle: Los Angeles and how Aliens were killing all the people. I think I would much perfer robots instead of creepy looking Aliens with big eyes killing all of us. Great, now when I listen to Katy Perry's song "E.T." that'll be the first thing that goes in my head.

I was wondering if watching Oprah's episode today was gonna make me think and it did. It was about her Most Memorable Guests. Oh my gosh! That last one really got me. That mother really made me think. We don't know when our time will be. We should live it up as much as we can. I hope it doesn't end this weekend. I want to go to my Nana's this weekend and have lunch with my family on Sunday. We didn't get to last weekend because my mom had to work. It would not be cool if the world ended this weekend or this summer. Anytime really. I don't even want 2012 to get here because of all the stories. We'll just have to see I guess.

Given Up.

I'm done with the 30 Day Challenge. My attention is on my WordPress. I am keeping the rest of chllenges as topics for upcoming posts. Sorry.

Blogger, WordPress, & Tumblr.

I've had Blogger since the beginning of my senior year of high school. We made them for my Grammar class and our teacher taught us how to use it. It was very easy for me to use. It didn't confuse me that much. I think I'm the only one from our class that STILL uses it. Since I've had it for so long I'm starting to find new things to do with it. Make it more me. More orignial.

I've recently made a WordPress. That was a bust. I shouldn't have changed the theme. Actually it wasn't much of the theme that messed everything. That was pretty much trying to figure out to do the Widgets and Menu that screwed it all up. Other people's profiles were awesome! Mine was too "beginner" and I tend to find things on other blog sites a little harder than they seem.

I had Tumblr. Twice. I made the first one and the themed confused me. What is it with the themes? They mess me all up. I think after a day or two I gave up on it and deleted it. Then everybody kept telling to get another one and I tried to do it again. This time when I tried to sign in, it wouldn't let me. I did everything it told me to do but it still didn't let me through.

So I'm sticking to Blogger til I find somebody to teach me how to do Tumblr or WordPress that lives down here. If somebody is teaching me through Twitter your kinda screwed because I'm not good at reading directions. I'm more of a hands on kinda girl. I'm like that in almost everything I do.

I Got Day 13 & 14 Mixed Up.

Something I would do differently. I didn't start this drama but I kinda wish there was a way to end this without family members being pulled apart. I would also like to go back three days ago and stop this from happening. I think this is the worst thing I've seen in a long time. About of my family wants it to be over and the rest isn't letting it go.

I'm Done.

These past two days, I feel like I could either scream or kill someone. I have one hell of a motive that's for sure. I do think I need a vacation for this town. My hometown is just driving me crazy! Actually let's be honest here. This blog is for me to release everything that I'm feeling. So what am I feeling right now? I feel like going on my original facebook and hold on to caps lock and saying "F*CK YOU" on my status. That word started this shit might as well join the club.

I'm not though. I made another facebook profile. I am NOT adding any family members except my cousins Amy and Cierra. My mom wants me to add her. If I add her and not anybody else, everybody's gonna be pissed off because I added her and they'll automactically think I'm on her side. I AM! I think everybody in my damn family needs to grow up! Be adults!

Everybody is pissed off at everybody because somebody didn't like the F word. Sadly enough this was started by a guy. I would SO love to go kick him in the groin right now and and tell him "thanks for the family drama you've caused!" Everybody is being pulled in some many directions its unbelieveable. Everybody needs to chill out. Think about your actions before you act on them! Right now I'm done with everyone! The day everybodys not at each other's throats will be the best day ever, but that can only happen when pigs fly.

TVD Finale.

Well last night was the last episode of Season 2 of The Vampire Diaries. I'm not gonna lie I wish they'd never do breaks ever! I hate waiting four months just to see what's going to happen next. I've actually gotten an idea for the summer. I'm gonna see if I can write chapters of what might happened this fall in Season 3. That would kind of interesting.

We know that Damon is better and not dying anymore thanks to Katherine. Elena kissed Damon. BIG Delena moments throughout the entire episode. No Matt or Tyler in the episode. Alaric turns emo kind of. He drinks his pain away is what I'm meaning to say. Stefan and Klaus make a deal. Klaus kills Elijah. I knew that would happened, it was only matter of time. Klaus with his shirt off. HELLO! The last thing there was that pretty much took over the episode. Liz (Caroline's mother) kills Jeremy. The one time he doesn't have his ring on and he gets shot. Caroline tries to make him drink her blood. That doesn't work so Alaric and Bonnie take Jeremy to the house that 100 witches were killed. Bonnie asks them for help. They don't want to, tell Bonnie there will be consquences. Bonnie screams out "I LOVE HIM" and then the candles go out. Five minutes later, Jeremy comes to life.

Last night I kept thinking about it. The whole episode almost killed me to be honest. I thought about how Jeremy can see Anna and Vicki when they're both suppose to be in hell. Two threoies to this: Anna and Vicki are not dead or Jeremy can see the dead. If he can see the dead that means maybe Jenna will show herself too. Another thing, how is Klaus suppose to die now without Elijah? Unless there's more "Orignials" he can't be killed. I wonder if Klaus really did kill all of his family members?

Important To Me. (Day 12)

Just so we're clear. I posted this yesterday. I guess "Blogger" deleted it and the other one that I did yesterday. Kinda want to wait and see if it'll show up tomorrow or later. It's happened before. If it doesn't I'll repost it.

Something I Wish Didn't Exist.

Something I wish didn't exist, well there's two things. Sad songs and drama. The reason why I chose these two are because if you think about it they go together. Sad songs can cause drama. At least sometimes they can. Hell, it can even go the other way as well. Drama can cause sad songs. I bet Taylor Swift has written one before. You never know.

I say sad songs because I'm listening to "What Hurts The Most" by Rascal Flatts right now. It was the upbeat version when I started this post by Cascada but it switched over. When other artists do an upbeat version of a sad song its not as bad and can't usually cause anybody to cry unless they're picturing the original verison instead. Sad songs make people cry.

Don't get me started on drama.

Pasta Mood.

JUMP!

Colorful.

A Confession.

I still have a Candy Cane box from Christmas. It hasn't been opened or anything. Its just sitting on the floor, in the gift bag, and wrapped. I'll eat them when I feel like it. My gum keeps disappearing (Emily takes it) so when I'm out of gum I can go back to candy cane's for the summer. I still have half my HUGE chocolate bar that I haven't ate yet. To be honest, it probably needs to be trashed. That's it, thats my confession.

One Day I Wish I Could Take Back.

As much as I'd like to go back and switch things around in a day that sucked. I can't. Because for me I'd go back a few times instead of one day. I've had a lot of crappy days. If I went back and changed something within that day it would change whatever joy I had that day (if I did) and it would change something around that day and I'm not risking that.

Now I've had dreams of myself going back in time to when my mom was younger and everybody was down here all the time. When my aunts were alive and when my older cousin Amy and Chris were younger. (Scary site trust me!) Thing is I had this dream and went back in time to this specific place without my wheelchair. So I was scooting on the ground. It was cool! On the other hand I kinda acted like Marty McFly from Back To The Future movies and was afraid to tell them who I was and what time period.

Superpower.

What superpower I'd want. I'm kind of picky because I would not want the power to fly. I'm scared of heights. So that would never work in my favor. I'm not a good swimmer either. This is how weird I am. In the summer, I don't swim. I have a lifevest on so I can walk around in the pool and it works. I don't like putting my face in the water. Water getting into my nose and ears. It sucks!

I'm thinking of the cool powers that the X-Men had like Storm had where she could control the weather. I'd love to have that. Its bad enough that Indiana is the bipolar state for weather. We hardly ever have Spring and Fall. When it first switches from Winter to Spring, sometimes it doesn't even feel like Spring. It just goes to Summer. Then this has happened more than a few times. Summer to Fall, right? Not in Indiana. It goes from Summer to Winter. I swear! So I'd love control of the weather. Confuse the shit out of weathermen.

Then I started thinking about the girl on Magneto side. I don't remember her name, but I loved her power. She could change into any person she wanted. I think if every girl thought about it, we'd all love that superpower. Doesn't she have the same where she could go invisible? I don't remember that either. I'd love that as well. To be a fly on the wall. Mess with people. That would be awesome!

Surreal.

Yesterday, I went to see Fast Five with my sister, cousin, and uncle. He was kind enough to take all of us to a pretty much 30-35 minute drive to Jasper. I didn't have my electric wheelchair for two reasons. 1.) It looked like it was going to rain. 2.) I don't have any juice in my chair. I like to take "walks" around my nana's block and I wouldn't have enough to go around the corner. Its that low. So after an hour we finally figured out what we were going to do. Whoever's idea was for us three (Kristi, Emily, and I) to walk to Kristi's house was losing their mind. It was somewhat hot and I felt dependable and that feeling sickens me everytime.

When we finally got to her house, we kind of pasted it and went to the "Big Toy" by the Elementary school. Kristi and Emily talked about different things. I was thinking about something I had read on Twitter one time about Scorpios. That they don't really like to be social or go out with friends all the time. At the time I disagreed with that statement, but yesterday sitting by the basketball court and sitting in the push wheelchair really made me think, "wow I am seriously quiet right now." They were talking about guys and I still didn't want to talk. I've had a rough couple of days with males. I really didn't want to talk about them. I tried to join in with their other conversations, but it was like I so out of it. I just wanted to look around and remissince about the early years.

After going back to the house. My sister and I were talking about different things. Kristi was inside the house changing and Emily was on the opposite side of the car and I was parked by the house. Not on the road or anything. Anyways, Emily and I were just minding our own business. All of a sudden, this guy on this bike of some sort goes by and on the back of this bike had turn signals. It looked so cool! My sister looks at me and goes, "What the eff was that?!" It was priceless. Kinda wish my wheelchair had turn signals that way people didn't complain but yet everybody in this world need them as well.

This van my family got was given to us a few months before I had my surgeries in 2002. It was used van, but it was a good van. It got all of us from and back St. Louis, MO. It was a good van. Then after my auction and the drama that happened with that. The van started to repesent something else. Since we got it from the people who started the drama with us, the van starterd to act up. My uncle has our old van we use to use all the time. It had a lift in it for my wheelchair, but it was kind of breaking down sort of speak. So we never used it. Last summer my dad was messing with it and figured out the battery still works and everything else did too. Which was odd. It hadn't move from its spot at the house for probably 3 years. My uncle needed a vehicle and so my dad gave it to him. He seems to enjoy it.

Since the state of Indiana is making a new highway to get easier way to Evansville and Indianpolis. They've been tearing down trees and houses and the one church that's out there. My uncle and cousin use to live in one of the houses that got torn down so we took the other way to Jasper. The other way is another town where I use to live. Otwell. Before I had my surgeries we lived there for a good 8 or 9 years or more. I loved living in the country even though I am and never will be a country girl. The other way was a much shorter way around to get to Jasper.

I was about 11 years old when we moved out of that house and been a few years since I've sat in the van. I hardly ever go to Otwell anymore. Yesterday I did three things in one day. I sat in the van, front seat. We went through the little towns and Otwell. I also saw my old house. It was so surreal to be going through after all this time. I don't know if its because I'm going back to Shriner's in June or not. I just got so uncomfortable sitting in the old van and looking into the side mirror and just staring at myself. Just wondering how far I've grown since then. Passing every place that had a special meaning to me.

Throughout the ride to Jasper I had this quote like jump out of me. "When Things Don't Go Right, Go Left." I've been trying to think why that quote jumped out at me around this time. It was just weird. So surreal to me. I've changed so much since then. I've learned to forgive and yet it seems like I'm the only one who has. No offense or anything, you CAN forgive but you can't forget. That quote should have popped into my head instead. Oh well. Maybe I'll never know.

The Opposite Sex.

What I like about the opposite sex. Heh, that's an interesting challenge since there's not much to say. It really depends on the guy. I like the goofy, romantic, and sadly jocky type of guy. I really need to get away from them they're not good for me. I love guys who make me laugh. I love jokesters. I like a guy that likes comedy movies and kinda act like Adam Sandler. Even though I don't think Adam Sandler's cute and all I just think he's hilarious!

I don't like chick flicks that much. I'll watch a few here and there but not all of them. I won't watch The Notebook. I don't believe in guys that act like the guys in those movies even exist in real life to be honest with you. So I pretty much put romantic for no reason whatsoever. I will watch Where The Heart Is, Charlie St. Cloud, Dear John (I could see a guy like John), The Last Song, The Back-Up Plan, and Life As We Know It.

What You Hate Most.

Interesting topic. I hate alot of things. From people to reptiles. Cold weather to Thunderstorms. Some rappers to some country (male) singers. Messy rooms (mine). Can't find certain CDs or songs I use to have somewhere that I would love to have on my iPod. Those however are just little things though. I guess the thing I hate the most is that I don't have the right Independence I should. Some people could disagree with this statement, but have you ever stepped into my shoes or in this case socks? No, so don't say anything until you know EVERYTHING! You never will know how my life works. One day in the life of me, still wouldn't give you the prespective of how it is in my life.

Something I've Always Had A Problem With.

I've always had a problem with my self-esteem and trust. Both of these can be blamed on guys. Guys here are assholes. I'm not apologizing because its their fault for making me this way. I shouldn't have to be so afraid to get hurt. Somebody should turn the tables on these guys and show them what emotional pain feels like. Real men cry! Just saying!

Red, Yellow & Green.

Picture.

Something I Miss.

I miss my childhood. I miss how everybody in my family was nice to each other. When we didn't have other people making us into other people. I miss how when I was in Elementary school I wasn't allowed to go outside, but it was my choice. I would always choose a guy to stay inside with me. I was a flirt then too. I remember when I was in 2nd grade and me and his guy Jordan were playing with these little balls and we were throwing them up to touch the ceiling. Well the school throughout the sections of grades have this opening at the top were the lights were. I threw the ball up and it went over Jordan's head and got stuck up were the lights were. I remember his face. We decked and stopped playing completely.

I want to go back to 2002. I want to do 5th grade over again. This time I don't want to be St. Louis with my surgeries. I just want to do August through December over. I went back to school in January of 03. I didn't get to do D.A.R.E. like everybody else. Missed a couple programs and I missed having my 11th birthday with my friends. Even though if I was to go back I'd want my aide Ms. Linda back. I'd want everybody that was there with me, everybody I was use to, to be there again. Knowing I want to go back and relive it I'd probably fail at the math. I hate math!

Something I Want, But I Can't Have.

I want to dance.. I know I've already blogged about this already but its the day after Dancing With The Stars results show. SPOILER ALERT Kendra and Louis were voted off! =/ Not happy about that. I wasn't happy who were in the bottom 3. Mark and Chelsea, Kendra and Louis, and Kirstie and Maks. I wanted Romeo and Chelsie to go home. Did you see his face when they found out they were safe? Priceless! I loved the Team Chelsea dance. Chelsie and Romeo made me wanna dance badly. That and Romeo is very cute!

Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater.

When I was in high school I was friends with this girl who's ex boyfriend was "buddies" with my crush and she was my lifesaver throughout my first year in high school. She gave me lots of advice about guys and how to flirt with them and just start slowly and then if he's ready go for the kill if you will. Just kidding! Well just so we're clear I didn't kill anyone and he was never ready. Anyway, she and her ex were always talking about each other. This is what I get being friends with both I guess.

Well apparently after a few years of hating each other and starting new relationships they are back together. Why? I have no idea. Do I care? Not really. I just don't get how a person or people in general can talk bad about you and your past and all of a sudden, "ok maybe this time around you'll change." Listen to me, if you're talking about a male. They never change unless it's a life or death kinda deal. Females only change when they think it'll better themselves when really it doesn't. Don't change yourself for somebody else. I believe in a quote, "once a cheater, always a cheater."

Your Definition Of Love.

Love is an interesting word for me. I've seen at its greatest times and its worst. To be honest I don't know what love is really. I've seen heartbreak more than love. Family and friends have shown me love before but people can take everything away so easily. Love is overrated to me. Everybody wants to find it in somebody, but if you're like me you've seen both love and hate so much you think love is not for you. So I kind of don't have a definition since I've never really seen it last.

5 Ways To Get To My Heart.

This is day 2 of my 30 Day Challenge.

1. This can go both ways, if somebody is a kid or an adult that has a really rough life but is learning about his/her life and knowing the struggles were not their fault. If they were teenagers and they did some really crazy stuff, and they went to jail, rehab, or anything else just to learn that they can overcome that part of their lives. Both are big ways in my heart. I fall easily for the kids more than adults because the adults are better liars than kids are sometimes.
2. I am an animal lover. Everytime I hear about an animal getting hurt or a family has a animal shelter and just deciating their selves to these hurt animals. I melt inside and I wish I could help somehow.
3. I love dance. Hip hop is one of my favorite styles of dance. I love when I watch movies like the Step Up movies and the guys are dancing and it makes me crazy! When guys breakdance I get so into their moves. Then sometimes on YouTube there's videos of kids trying to breakdance and there are a lot that are good at it at such a young age. I love guys who can dance in someway. It has to good not bad.
4. Surprises, the good ones though. Not the bad ones. I like being out of the circle for a surprise for someone If its a really sweet surprise my heart feels like crying itself. My eyes will be the first to cry and then my heart.
5. This should be number one, but I haven't found him yet so hopefully this list will help him find me. I love men who think woman with disabilites are beautiful. I wish more guys in this world were as understanding like the ones in this world that do exist. If you are a woman with disabilites that is married to a good man and has children. You are living my dream.

Day 1.

1. Lists of my favorite things.

Candles.
Rain.
Lava lamps.
Chocolate.
Huskies.
Yorkies.
Insturmentals.
Palm Trees.
Beach Pictures In The Early Mornings.
Oranges.
Green Grapes.
Men's Cologne.
Purple.
Violin.
Piano.
Desserts.
1920-40s Fashion

30 Day Challenge on Blogger.

I found this on Tumblr. So I thought I'd switch it. I'm gonna do a 30 Day Challenge on my blog. Even the month of May has 31 days instead of 30 days, but I'm still gonna do it. I think it's gonna be interesting to do. I'll still do little post in between doing the days. If you want to do the challenge too. Here are the days and challenges.


Day 1- List of your favorite things.
Day 2- 5 ways to get to your heart.
Day 3- Your definition of Love.
Day 4- Something you wish you could have, but can’t.
Day 5- Something you miss.
Day 6- Something you’ve always had a problem with.
Day 7- What you hate most.
Day 8- What you like about in the opposite sex.
Day 9- What superpower you would want.
Day 10- One day you wish you could take back.
Day 11- A Confession.
Day 12- Something that’s important to you.
Day 13- Something you wish you could’ve done differently.
Day 14- Something you wish didn’t exist.
Day 15- Worst thing that has happened to you.
Day 16- Something you’re afraid of.
Day 17- Your recent dream.
Day 18- What you are most worried about.
Day 19- 3 Wishes.
Day 20- One thing you would do before you died.
Day 21- Who/What made you who you are now?
Day 22- What you will do differently when you become a parent.
Day 23- Who you would want to be for a day.
Day 24- What you would do if you won the lottery.
Day 25- Initials of the people that have had the biggest impact on your life.
Day 26- Lyrics of 5 songs you can relate to.
Day 27- Where you see yourself 10 years from now.
Day 28- Something/Someone you envy.
Day 29- Whats in your wallet.
Day 30- Random picture.

Five Guilty Pleasures.

Guilty Pleasures, I have never understood these words. Because nothing is a "guilty" pleasure. To me at least. My top five guilty pleasures. Hopefully they won't scare you.

1. I like high fashion but I would never buy anything over $50. My Victoria's Secret's line, Pink yoga pants were $40. Plus they were on sale. Sometimes I go on a binge where I want to buy really expenive, but I'm cheap. I'd rather go to Wal-Mart than to the mall that way I might save some money.
2. We can defintely say boy bands can be a guilty pleasure. NKOTBSB (New Kids On The Block-Backstreet Boys) are my guilty pleasure. Backstreet Boys have always been my #1 boy band. Now that I'm older and considered a Rock n Roll chick. They are a guilty pleasure. Adding NKOTB to the mix is even better!
3. Even though I have all these CDs of big name artists. I have two albums that nobody would expect me to still listen to. I have the Scooby-Doo The Witches Ghost and Spirit: The Stallion of the Cimarron. They're even on my iPod as well.
4. I still like watching the really old cartoons, but who doesn't? I love watching The Jetsons, The Flintstones, and Scooby-Doo on Boomarang. I love watching Looney Tunes and Tom and Jerry on Cartoon Network. I even watch Rugrats early in the morning (6am) on Saturday and Sunday mornings. I was VERY happy when Nickelodeon started playing Rugrats at 10am on Tuesday and Thursday's.
5. As much as I think guys with tattoos are somewhat creepy. No offense. There are a few that I think are pretty sexy. Everybody that is a Linkin Park fan is thinking, "Oh, she does think Chester Bennington is cute." You would be SO wrong! He is probably the only one besides the ones with long hair and wear makeup that is not cute whatsoever.

Things I've Learned On Twitter.

I've learned alot of things on Twitter. Some on my own and some just by looking at other people's posts. When I was just starting out on Twitter I didn't really like it because of two things. I didn't know how to really use it. I also wanted to follow celebrities but I didn't think the accounts were real. Well since then, I've had 4 different Twitter accounts. I'm on a Twitter whore. I know what I'm doing and I know the difference between a parody account of a celebrity and a veriftied account.

Before I knew there was a way to talk to people on Twitter. I just updated with what I was doing. I only tweeted probably five times a day. That's really sad! Now a days, I know how to talk to EVERYBODY! I have experience in that department. That's doesn't sound right. I know that the "@" symbol has a new meaning for Twitter people. Using the "@" is how you start conversations with everyone.

Twitter is not like Facebook. Drama is not part of Twitter. Unless its about celebrities then that's another story. Twitter helps get new friends. People from all over the world. All the people I talk to are Linkin Park fans. Then there's a few who are The Vampire Diaries fans. I have a hand full that are from the US. Then the rest are from overseas. My farest friend lives in Vietnam. The one that lives the closest is from Illionis.

Sweet Tooth.

:D

GIFSoup

Funny Bournoda!

From Justin To Xtina!