Wow!

Wow! After everything that I went through you would think I'd be the one to not want to graduate high school. Well thats pretty much wrong. I want to get out of Pike and Pike Central as bad as some of these underclassmen do. I want to do things on my own, which means I might want to get my driver's lienesce soon. But I really don't want to. I have a repuation of being the "Speed Demon" so I don't want to speed like everybody else does. Sorry.

As I start to think more about the future years, I think more about kids. Like last night after I watched the new episode of "Keeping Up With The Karadisans." I started thinking about babies, because Kourtney's still pregnant on the show. And I thought about my cousin having kids and all three kids were spelled with the letter "K" how weird right? Yeah! Krystal Jane, Kelli Jo, and Kody Joseph. My cousin's name starts with a "K" and her middle name starts with a "J." Creepy!

The thing was is that in that dream, I somehow got a call and it was some kind of doctor's office telling me I couldn't have kids. That bad part about this dream was that it was one of those dreams were you are awake and not asleep like you should be. I have those a lot and I greatly hate them. They look so real. I almost cried last night, because that's always my biggest fear is that I'll never have kids, but everyone will.

I had made a promise to my Nana that if I have a girl I'd have the middle name "Ruth" since that was the name she was born with but after she was adopted her parents pretty well kept everything on the down low. The only name I like the most that goes with "Ruth" is Hayden. I've got it where I want it just Hayden Ruth or I want to add another first name. And I came up with this, "Avril-Hayden Ruth" My nana was born in April and I love unique names so thats where this plays up. My sister has two middle names so might as well do something different. My daughter would be a cute and crazy brunette (hopefully!) like me.

We have another pattern in my family with names. My papaw's I think it was his grandpa that he was named after. I'm not for sure, but I know it has something to do with my papaw's side. Anywho, My papaw's grandpa or someone's name was Morgan and that is my papaw's middle name. My cousin Tate's middle name is Morgan, but nobody else has it. So that was my other little idea, that has more names than what "Ruth" did. The name that I just love the most is: Amerik Morgan. I love it! If I had a son I would raise him to be respectful around other people with disabilities and be careful who to trust.

Just some thoughts that go through my mind a lot. I think about kids and raising them on my own without a daddy. It just seems like the life I would live. Because it's hard to take care of me so why would a man want to help raise a kid with a girlfriend/wife who has is handicapped? I just keep thinking if I didn't have a baby daddy he doesn't get to name my child. Makes that part easier on me and himself.
-Meghan.