Iridescent.

So I've been thinking again. My usual habit. After graduation I kind of thought to myself, "Yay! I can finally live MY life and maybe keep some of my friends afterall." I was saddly mistaken. My graduation I only had 4 of my friends and had family and one of my teachers come. Afterwards, me, my cousin and two of my other friends went to the movies. It was fun! That was in June.

August came and I could feel two sides of me formal inside of my heart. I didn't let anyone because I didn't why something was forming. August through October were the diseaster months. I hate looking back at them and wanting to cry at everything I wanted and yet nobody really wanted to listen. I thought earlier I wanted it but after being depressed with the thoughts of no one understanding, being taken advantage of, and the never ending doubts that filled some people's minds. I give up.

Soon after I started to feel better about things, but everytime I thought things would change they never did. Everytime I would something that would kind of make me happy it would get shattered. My thoughts would to be blamed. My friends would try to help me, but it was no use. December came and left me with a huge hole in my heart. January started great then it ended horribly. February was probably the only good month all around. My twitter friends became a more stable environment for me. I started to realize that they were more humble to me than the people here were. So I'm hoping March continues the good stretch that I need to not always be in a depression bubble.

"... Do you feel cold and lost and in desperation. You build up hope, but failure's all you've known. Remember all the saddness and frustration and let it go. Let it go." - Iridescent, Linkin Park ♥