I Needed To Blog. :)

Well, first thing's first. Merry Christmas to everybody that reads this. I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings about this Christmas day. Because today and yesterday I just kept getting this feeling something's not right, and I have been feeling very peaceful about myself and with other people around me.

Yesterday, was Christmas Eve, and I had so much fun. My mom made Christmas cookies and Chocolate Chip Cookies. And my sister was actually nice to me and everybody else. Wednesday I went to my Nana's because Em had a basketball game to go cheer at. And my parents went shopping again. So I went to my Nana's house and spent the evening talking about Scholarships, my career of choice, boys, dreams, and babies. Everything but the last one surprised my nana because we never had a talk about babies like we did. The dreams and baby kind of went together actually.

The last couple of nights, all of the dreams I've had. We're about me with a child. More of the dreams have been baby boys instead of girls. With these dreams I am still going to college and doing what I wanted to do as a career. But me and my nana were talking and we both kind of decided that God may be giving me a decision here. Which one do I want more? Family? Or career? If it was up to me, it would be both. But God works wonders though.

One dream I did have though, I tend to keep having at night. This is how it goes. My friend and her mom were going to go to a concert in Indinaposis and we go to see it and I have the time of my life, but after its over and we were going to leave the stadium these big guys come up to us and say that, "the guys of the band want to meet you." Which they're talking about me and of course we go. And we leave to go meet these guys and one is really, really drunk and he can't seem to understand that no means no. And the next thing I know I am four months pregnant. How about that for a dream?

Myself in my dream is very confident that she can do this and have a baby, have a career, and be handicapped at the same time. So she keeps the baby, because if that WAS me, I would keep the baby. I have family who were adopted and it took them forever to see the rest of their family, so thats what I would do. Anyways, she finds out its a boy. And she decides that his name will be Layton Matthew. And being that I have had Scoliosis the same feelings of how can I get drugs to calm down the pain without doing something wrong to my back? So I had no drugs at all. I had no boyfriend just my family and my best friend. And my son was born.

Lately I have thought a lot more of baby names then anything else. In my notepad in my phone I have four names that I have come up with just because of these dreams. I have Dante Benjamin, Layton Matthew, Sophia Marie, and Jaelyn Ruth.